Unlock Inner Strength: Essential Tips for Entrepreneurs

Unlock Inner Strength: Essential Tips for Aspiring Entrepreneurs

In this weeks solo episode, we talk about the importance of inner strength and self-belief in overcoming adversity. Reflecting on our personal experiences, we emphasise the significance of visualisation, perseverance and emotional intelligence. We share personal stories and provide valuable insights for aspiring and ambitious entrepreneurs navigating tough times, highlighting life's challenges and the power of not giving up. Additionally, we address common fears and limiting beliefs, advocating for a mindset of creativity, play and continuous effort towards achieving your goals.

00:00 Introduction and Upcoming Guest Teaser

00:30 Inner Strength and Working Together

01:27 Overcoming Adversity and Self-Belief

02:29 Visualisation and the Power of Belief

04:37 Emotional Intelligence and Regulation

07:01 Personal Stories of Resilience

10:29 The Importance of Persistence

16:12 Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs

17:27 Creativity and Expanding Your Thinking

18:55 Conclusion: Don't Let Anyone Stop You

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Homework for this week:  

Firstly, make a list of your current fears and rate them on a scale of 1-10 based on their impact on your life. For each fear, write down an action you can take to confront or get rid of it.

Then write a letter to yourself from your future self looking back on your life. Highlight what you want to achieve and the fears you want to overcome. Use this perspective to motivate and help you move forward. 

Share your actions with us and we will check on your progress to keep you accountable. If you’re happy to, be brave and post it on social media, tag us and use the hashtag #reignmaker

If you liked this episode, please support us and rate/leave kind words/ review. It really helps us to help more people like you! 

Transcript

Hi, and welcome back to the How To Reign When It's Raining podcast with Abi and Dolina.

We have a great show for you today, talking about inner strength.  Please listen for the key takeaways and action steps at the end. Yes, we will sometimes be setting you homework. You don't have to do it, but it will help you on your journey. Please forgive us for the editing. We're still learning and it's messy.

And thank you for listening.   

So we're, (laughter)  we're,  uh, (laughter) Oh dear.  Right. So  our guest next week,  is somebody who has had to,  find a lot of inner strength.  And.  That's something that we wanted to talk about today on this week's,  episode. And   the reason why mum and I were laughing and we weren't making light of, our guests next week, who by the way is incredible and, it's a great show.

It's because we were saying that we have to have the amazing inner strength to work together.  And it just made us laugh. Well, sometimes we do because we're both different personalities.  We've got to find  the courage to say, and the inner strength to say to each other, well, you're a bit like this and I'm a bit like that.

So it's what goes on behind the smiles, isn't it? What goes on behind.  Yeah, yeah, absolutely.  We managed to do it for 10 years, a while ago.  If you put yourself in our shoes, working with your, either one of your parents, you could probably understand what we're talking about, um, by one of your children.

Or one of, yeah, sorry, (laugher) or one of your children.  Touche.     How do you get your inner strength when you're going through the very tough times and,  whether you're thinking of starting, , on your journey.

 And you've got these things coming at you from left field or whether you're on your journey and you're feeling a bit stuck   and it can be tough  working for yourself,  is  extremely hard.  , but I always say, start with the end in mind and don't lose sight of what it is that you want to get to.

  Focus on that and then when the hurdles come,  , as inevitably they will, because that will always happen.  It's part of life.  How do you overcome them   certainly for me,  to continue in times of adversity and believe me, there have been a lot of adverse times in my life.   

 It. It is believing.  Yeah.  Self belief. Yeah. The thing is,  no one can teach you what's innate inside of you. Nobody can teach you that, but what you can do is you can enhance that  with that inner power, with,  visualization and actually here's the thing. 

At the weekend,  I was watching part of  the golf, the open. The conditions these golfers had to play through was unbelievable.  It was , really horrendous.   What they were saying was, I was listening to some of the interviews and they were saying that they were visualizing  and that they could see themselves holding the trophy.

They could see themselves winning  and that  was so, so important that they didn't care about the conditions. They just knew they had that inner belief that they still continued to  plow their way through it. , if you think about when you're a baby,, and you can't walk.

So then you're learning to walk.  And then you fall down  and you don't think I'm not going to pick myself back up again. You keep trying. And you keep trying and you keep trying until you get there. Until you master it. Yeah. Until you master it. Sometimes it's with a bit of trepidation. Of course it is.  

You don't give up.  It's having that belief. Yeah, , as you say,  starting with the end in mind, it's having that end goal to focus on. 

 We have all been in that place where you are like, right, this is what I want to achieve. How the hell am I gonna get there? I don't know  , but I am gonna get there. And that is huge, that, that belief. And you do work it out because every problem has a solution.

It's a universal law.  Although your brain, doesn't always tell you that,  that is the truth.  So for anybody who is an aspiring entrepreneur, , that hasn't taken that,  first step yet,  if you've got your idea in mind, ,  

 how big is your belief?  Can you visualize yourself, do you visualize yourself,  doing whatever it is that you want to achieve,  because  that is a great place  to start. Everything starts with a thought.  Yeah.  And then the thought becomes your belief, your beliefs become your actions.

 . And your actions become your reality. Reality. Absolutely.  We worry about, , not being an expert. 

And   the thing is,  nobody was an expert when they started those people that you admire, , they weren't experts when they first started, they were like you or us,  they were exactly the same position.  And they trained. And they learned and they did it messy and they kept going and they didn't give up.

And then they became the expert or the go to . But a lot of people don't see that. A lot of people suddenly see somebody that's doing something and they say, Oh my goodness,  , they've had some overnight success. And actually, there's been so much going on, it's like a duck,  on the surface of a pond,  or a swan, you see it just gliding along the water, but actually there's all of this going on underneath.

   Sometimes you need to ask yourself questions like what happens if I don't,  do this, if I fail, what would happen if I fail?  Ask yourself that question and sit with that thought 

and then notice as well in your body, because when you ask yourself a question, you notice the feeling in your body as well, wherever that is.  Yeah,  you notice the tension. You're having an emotional response    we're taught so often to suppress our emotions, but actually, emotion, Is something that we should all,   embrace, , you know, having a good cry often helps, often clears things.   Emotion is energy in motion.  And  when you're feeling your emotions and they're coming out. That's great because a lot of the time you're clearing that energy. 

 However, you do have to regulate them. It's really important for personal and professional development. Emotional regulation is actually one of James Wedmore's ten characteristics to be a successful digital CEO. Emotional intelligence. Um, he calls it. You improve your decision making.

Your relationships, your resilience, and your self awareness. And you can do this by identifying what your triggers are and why. Mindfulness, meditation, exercise, affirmations, all those good things. Um, and also  setting boundaries as well. But it does take practice.  You do have to practice it.   So  when I,  for those of you that don't know,  I lost my partner,  at 31, very suddenly, very traumatically.

And I was with him when he died. Um, and that was obviously a huge, painful, , life changing traumatic experience. And. I remember when it was his funeral,  , which was an incredible funeral, by the way, , I remember that, um, I was doing his eulogy, and , his parents had written part of the eulogy and I'd written the rest, , and they wanted me to read it. 

 I remember so many people saying to me, you're not going to be able to read this. You're not going to be able to read this.  And my, unfortunately, one of my ex best friends,  another story for another day.  But,  she said to me, why don't you send it to me? , so I've got a copy just in case I need to stand up and read it for you. 

And  I just remember thinking to myself,  I am,  and I had that inner knowing  of.  I am going to get through this fucking eulogy, whether it kills me, I am going to do this. I am not going to have somebody else read my, my Matt's eulogy. I am doing it myself.

I don't care if I'm,  crying on stage   and I actually, until towards the end, where I did,  break down a little bit, um, but managed to finish. More than understandable.

Well, yeah, but I did it, and I had, this is gonna sound really weird,  but I had,   that picture in my mind of when this day was coming of me standing there and actually doing this and not having anybody that needed to help me.

  It really is , that gut feel,   a lot of it comes from your gut. They call it the second brain, don't they?  You have that gut feel, , it's, I feel gutted.

I've got this feeling here. , listening to your intuition. . It's all connected. . Oh, when your stomach's in knots and all of that. 

When you're nervous, you need to go to the loo.   There's so many times where you question yourself when you know something and then  you stop yourself because you get all these fears, you get the imposter syndrome , but when you actually think about it, you know, that you can do it, we actually said this on last week's, , episode when we launched, we were saying about how,    , there are people out there that do something,  that are less talented than you, but  they're doing it,  because they've got  the belief and the courage and the inner strength. 

 To do it. . And when you sit on the sidelines and you watch those people and you think, oh, fucking hell, I could do that better than her or I could or I wish I was doing that or I wish I was doing that. 

But there are things in your way that are stopping you. And that's what we want to help you with. And it doesn't have to be perfect. It does not have to be perfect. And mum and I really struggled with that.  We,   did a post,  last week and it was the day after we launched the podcast.

And,  I was saying. Jesus, it's been 10 months. We first had the idea of doing a podcast and then for 10 months, we were worried about it, not every day.  But we were both worried about it in some way for 10 months. And we finally launched just, , last week. We did it messy. And, then  it was like, Oh, what the fuck have we been worrying about for 10 months?

It's  just ridiculous. It's.  There's a lot of work that goes into it and  that's what you were saying earlier about the stuff behind the scenes,  that nobody sees you're talking about the swan or the duck that, paddling away  and actually   the reason people fail the most is because they don't keep on.

They find it too hard.   They give up, because they just think, it's easier just to go back and do what I was used to doing. , there's so many, , stories.  One of them being, Oh mum, what's that? 

Think and Grow Rich. Oh, Napoleon Hill. Napoleon Hill.  So , if you've ever read,  Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill, and if you haven't, you should,   there are so many actual examples of people,  that have got what had an idea or  had a,  an end goal,  or whatever they wanted to achieve and they started it and , they started getting there and it got difficult and they gave up and then it was actually proven that if they'd had just kept on going. 

If they hadn't given up, if they'd just kept on going, they would have literally had everything that they wanted, soon after, if that makes sense, there are so many examples of it. And you just think, oh my gosh, you were so close and you just didn't, you let something stop you.  That book is a really good example.

Yeah, it is, but it's also,  it is having that inner strength cause it's fucking, let's not lie, it's fucking tough.  Like life is tough.  Life is tough and being an entrepreneur , is tough. You don't know where your next penny's coming from.

 You're quite often alone, if you're doing it by yourself, finding the motivation every day, some people struggle with that And it can be very lonely 

And that's when the depths start to creep in. Yeah, that is when the doubt starts to creep in, and  it's working your way through that doubt  it comes down to the belief. I can do this. I can. That's what it comes down to. I can, that's another book. I can and I will.

Yeah. I can and I will. So many of those. Yeah. I used to read them when I was younger. They were called self help books when I was younger, but, they turned out to be NLP books.  I always quote Dr. Richard Bandler, who  taught me my NLP, who is just the most amazing man in the world.

And no, did not come into his vocabulary ever.   He always believed he could, and he did.  He has done and he's living proof,  especially after having a massive stroke and he believed he could walk again,  although he was told by the top medics in the States that he could never walk again, two years it took him and he walks unaided. 

I just think back to 2009 was massive for me because I almost lost my life I went into hospital, um, for what I thought was quite a big operation. Fairly routine and I ended up almost dying because they didn't tie me up properly and I was internally bleeding and had to have another operation on the same day.

The next day, the surgeon came and sat in my bed and said, we do not know how you are still here. These were his words.  I remember it was horrible.  . And I said, it was my will. It was my , my will to live. And the nurse said to me, , you kept on saying in your state of drifting in and out of consciousness, I don't want to die.

I don't want to die. I'm not ready to die. I'm not ready to die. And you kept repeating this over and over again. , there was some parts of it I remember and some parts I don't. It's giving me goosebumps. Yeah.  So when I got better and I healed and I got out of hospital and,  and then you get on with your life and in those muments afterwards, you think, right, nothing's ever going to stop me again from doing what I want to do. And I'm going to go forward, but you do, you fall back into routine. You do,  but it's, it's keeping that in mind.

And  I was listening to a podcast this morning and,   the podcast guest, , was talking about,  that the only truth in life is death.  Yes. And when you live your life from that  statement, that viewpoint,  it becomes  a lot different because you don't get a second chance. 

This is you doing what you're doing.  So it's living this one life that you get. So do not let anybody stop you. Don't let anybody stop you going forward.  There are people out there who want to give you advice when you're an entrepreneur or a would be entrepreneur, but have never actually taken that risk themselves. Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with people who don't take the risk, but please don't give the advice when you've never taken the risk yourself. 

Yeah. I think it's like when. Say if there's somebody that,  likes going out for a drink and having a drink and   they stop drinking or they cut down on their drinking and there's that friend that's always like, oh, come on, have a drink.

Oh, come on, come out with me. Subconsciously   they're doing that because they don't want you to succeed in what you're doing.  Because they're not doing it for themselves,  does that make sense?  That's called secondary gain. It's something that,  we were taught at university for hypnotherapy and it's quite often, um, happens with things like that, with people wanting to lose weight. If you come from a family that's a bit overweight, there's nothing wrong with that .

But if somebody wants to lose the weight and then, part of the family will go, Oh, you don't want to lose weight. You want to be like us. And they pull them back.  Be like us.  Stay here. Stay where it's safe. Stay where it's, , familiar.   I help people all the time with inner strength  to overcome the self limiting beliefs.  And that's done by accessing the subconscious mind,  and changing the belief system,  helping people gain the confidence  and gain the beliefs that they can,  you can grow  new parts in the.  the frontal cortex of your brain.  And that's exactly what Bandler did, was to grow new neuropaths in your brain,  to relearn things,  ,  we're only born with  two fears.  Okay, and that's the fear of sudden loud noises and the fear of falling over.  The rest are learned. So the two fears we're born with are the fear of sudden loud noises and the fear of falling over.

Everything else is a learned fear.  You've learned those fears, which means you can unlearn.  Of course you can. And a lot of the time you have to un become before you can become. 

That's a good way of putting it, actually.   I think it's not just the child,  trying to learn to walk, but also when you see a child smile at you  and they're not scared of anything.

No, they just want to play. They just want to play. And that's what we should be doing. Kathy Heller talks about this so much and  just doing things messy. We should play through life.  Saad Guru talks about dancing through life. It's, it is about that.

That space in our minds where we can be creative and we can allow ourselves that time and doing things in that playful state?  Allowing yourself  that mental capacity to be creative and just to get rid of the noise in your mind.  And to focus on where you want to be, on what you want to do, and actually what might be stopping you and realizing what might be stopping you and then finding a way around it.  Yeah. Because as we said, whatever the fear is, there is always an answer to it.

And it's when you allow that creativity space, that mental space in your mind, that you will come up with the creative answer to the solution to whatever problem it is.

 Yeah. Because a lot of the time when we are coming from, , a state of lack,  we are thinking about either A or B,  and actually there is  C, D, E, F, G, there's the rest of the bloody alphabet.

It doesn't just have to be A or B. It's expanding your thinking.  

  Yeah. And it's responding from a place of wisdom rather than from reaction. Yeah. . And Do not let anybody stop you. Don't let anybody stop you going forward. 

 Thanks for listening, Reignmakers. Today's key takeaways are 1. Visualizing success helps achieve success.  2. Every expert started as a beginner. 3. Regulating our emotions improves decision making, relationships and self awareness. 4, death is the only truth. Remember this to overcome fear. 5, many fears are learned and can be unlearned. 6, adversity is a part of life. How you respond to it defines your progress. 7, inner strength comes from believing in yourself.  

So the homework for this week, firstly, make a list of your current fears and rate them on a scale of one to 10 based on their impact on your life. For each fear, write down an action you can take to confront or get rid of it. 
Then write a letter to yourself from your future self looking back on your life. Highlight what you want to achieve and the fears you want to overcome. Use this perspective to motivate and help you move forward.  Share your actions with us and we will check on your progress to keep you accountable. If you're happy to, be brave and post it on social media.

Tag us and use the hashtag Reignmaker. That's R E I G N M A K E R. Depending on where you're listening, you might have a link to get in touch with us below.

Otherwise, please send us an email or message us on social media. We'd We'd love to hear from you with your stories, questions, or with ideas of what you would like to hear going forward.

We will be including these in our future episodes, and the links are in the show notes. If you enjoyed this episode, please share with someone you think might like or benefit from it, and please leave us a rating or review. It really helps us spread the word, and we can't do that without you, our lovely listeners.

Thank you Reignmakers.